Job 29: 2-5

I've been going through a rough time spiritually lately. I've been finding it hard to find the time to meet with God and it isn't as fresh as it used to be. But through all my frustrations, I've learned a few things. You need to taste the bitter in order to fully understand the sweet. You see, when I'm at a spiritual high point, I do a lot of things for people, and I'm kind, unselfish and forgiving. But it seems whenever I'm not, I'm the exact opposite of those things. I indulge myself in sin, dunk my head under and start my steady decline back to my old nature. But through it all God is there for me, watching me and always welcomes me to come back to Him.

Now I'm sure most of you think this is all a bunch of hogwash and I'm in no position to prove you otherwise, I'm just giving you my perspective, so bear with me. The book of Job is all about the man Job (duh). He had immense faith in God, so much so that God took everything away from him in order to test his faith, no matter what happened, Job still had faith, he still loved God. He may have been suffering greatly, but God had a purpose for his life and Job took joy in that.

I guess I'm going through the same sort of thing. I needed to truly understand what it was like to be separated from God. I was crabby, annoyed and skeptical and I didn't want to hear people talking about christianity. I've realized now, what I really want, and if God is truly going to use me for His purposes I really truly need to give myself over and abandon my selfish sinful ways. Again, this is probably more information than you care to believe about. But I'm sick of clouding over my believes from people. This is coming from someone who never really liked church at all, my dad is a pastor so I had to go, and I really went through a rough time. But now that I've found Jesus my life has changed a lot. I guess you always have to come back to the place you started. A place to meet with Him and tell you you're so sorry for everything you've done wrong. This picture is my interpretation of that place. No matter what I've been through or done God's been with me (and you) since the beginning and I love Him for it.